Just Maintenance

Fill the Void

2009-02-20T22:34:00.000-08:00

Its been a while old friend, but I am back with a feeling of freshness. There are a few new things in my life over here that I would like to tell you about. Firstly, I purchased a new mop and have been keeping things neat and tidy for the most part. I can been seen bellow during a Saturday mid afternoon mopping session.

Recently I have received a few unreal packages in the mail, one of them featured a picture of my friend Colm that was so off the charts I decided to take a picture of myself with the picture.

During Chinese New Year I went to Hong Kong. I stayed at a place called Tom's Guest House located in a building called the Chungking Mansion, and here is the e-mail that I received after booking my room.

Dear sir/madam,

Thanks for booking room of Toms Guest House and I will reserve a room for you on 23 Jan,2009.

Please find attached the map of my guest house.

Please go directly to my guest house as somebody around you may say he is "Tom" and bring you to the place where you will be charged much more. Please note that we will not wait for our customers around the building. Don't follow any stranger who say he is "Tom" around the building!

Thanks for your attention.

Best regards,

Tom

Thanks for the tips Tom. When I arrived at the Chungking Mansion I stepped out of my Taxi and was immediately rushed by 2 or 3 "gentlemen". The first on asked if I wanted a Rolex, the second asked if I needed a room, and the third asked if I wanted some hashish. I turned down all offers, although briefly contemplated the Rolex and the hashish. When I got to the front of the building and approached the entrance I was asked if I needed a suit and again if I wanted a cheap room. When I finally got inside the building it resembled the basement of the Dixie Value Mall, there were people of every different race and culture you can imagine all hanging out selling everything from bootlegged DVD's to cell phones to banana's. I had to venture up to the 16th floor where I found Tom's Guest House which turned out to be unreal. Here is the outside of the Chung King during the day time.

I think in Hong Kong you can buy anything you could ever imagine. I thought it was unreal how places like the Mak Kam Kee Shoes Maker or The Poon Company could do just as much, if not more business then Louis Vuitton or Giorgio Armani just down the street. I guess depending on the person you either go to Hong Kong to hit the large scale big name stores or the no name, cheap but still unreal shops.

I also met my friend Anastasia in Hong Kong from the banking days. We took a trip up top and and ate some shrimp while taking a solid birds eye of the city.

I just made a pact with myself to update this piece on a weekly, that only means 4 posts a month, get down.

Who Made Who.

2009-01-06T23:05:00.000-08:00

Here is a game, can you spot me?

What! 2009.

2009-01-06T22:34:00.000-08:00

Here is where I was to ring in the new year. The tall building in the back is Taipei 101, formerly the tallest building in the world. I counted down the last 10 seconds in Chinese this year just to mix things up a little. It sounded something like this, "she, jeo, ba, che, leo, ou, se, san, er, e", and this happened.

Oh ya, and after that this band called Mayday got on the stage and just started to belt out the hits. Check them out.

So smooth.

Christmas Classics

2008-12-31T21:51:00.000-08:00

Our Christmas party at school was all killer no filler. We had food, games, excitement and recorders. Here are some of the rascals by the Christmas tree.

Celine sported that sweet mask all night.

Kelly taking a bite out off the tree.

Lulu and Kiki holding it down.

I had to give Jimmy his monthly oral test two days ago and when he was done I said good work, and handed him his test and tape and said "carry on my wayward son" and he said "O.K Teacher Jon" and ran out of the room.

After the majority of the games were finished I got my band together to play some Christmas hits. The band consisted of about 8 students, Rick, Simon, Shelly, Rita, Eric, Jerry, Charlie, and Jenny. They all whaled so hard I couldn't even believe it.

Rick and Simon.

Jerry Wonder.

Rita, Jenny, and Shelly.

To cap off Christmas Eve night I went to Ximan Ding to meet up with a few friends for some Christmas celebrations. We went to this party where they were serving us unlimited Heineken's for some reason. I must have gotten carried away and drank far to many for my own good. On the way home I got out of the cab right in front of my house and said good bye. I knew at that moment I was feeling the effects so I decided to take a walk around the block to see if I could render myself into a state suitable for going to sleep. As I walked it seemed to be getting worse and worse until finally right out side of the Wish Sky Cafe I let it rip. So there I was on Christmas face down in the gutters of Jhonghe, what a classic. After I spued I felt much better, so I stopped off at the 711 picked up some chips and shut it down directly.

Feel the Flow

2008-12-22T22:51:00.000-08:00

I have snapped out of my funk and am starting to feel the flow of the Taiwan Christmas. At first it was a weird adjustment, like when you first use a different kind of toilet. It doesn't feel right but after you use it a few times its ok. For example, here is a kind of toilet I have encountered here, people take deuces in this.

Anyway, today I am going to be teaching one of my classes how to rock Jingle Bells on the recorder, and then we will be playing it at the Christmas party tomorrow evening. Just in case you have never heard it before, here is a clip courtesy of a one O. Pauk.

I was venturing through the streets the other night in Taipei with a few peeps and we came across an old tobacco factory, so we stopped the bikes and took some time to take some pics with the Christmas spirit in mind. This is my friend Kenny, what a solid cat.

If you didn't get my Christmas card here you go. This lady is Evens mom.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I also have some bad news to report today. Judy committed suicide two nights ago. I got up in the morning to find that only Ted and Tony were swimming in the tank. I thought, thats weird, I wonder where Jude could be. So I started searching until I found her corps under the couch covered in dust. I couldn't believe it, she must have jumped out while I was a sleep. Here is a classic track in memory of Judy's free wheeling life style, take a moment.

Also on the down side Eve busted her wrist on the slopes this weekend, so maybe you can sign her cast if you happen to see her.

Breakfast

2008-12-19T09:09:00.000-08:00

Crickey, I have had a little bit of a hiatus it seems. I think with the Christmas season in effect I have been feeling the lonesome effects a bit and as a result have just been keeping a low profile over here. Don't worry, everything is solid, I haven't gone mental or anything. Its a weird feeling flying solo through times when the maintenance is usually at an all time high with with the peeps you like maintaining with the best. I'm not sure if I ever mentioned that I picked up two more fish to keep Ted company a few weeks ago. I was looking at him one day and thought "man he's not looking so good". It seemed as though his bright orange tinge was starting fade and he had an expression on his face as if he felt like he had to take a giant deuce. I though a couple smaller friends might cheer him up, so I went down to the fish shop and picked up a couple of tiny orange fish with black stripes. Now Ted, Tony, and Judy are living in extreme harmony and it seems as though Ted's colour has come back and is even brighter then before. Almost every morning I get up and stretch, look out my window, assess the temp and hightail it over to Evens breakfast shop for some eggs. I have to say this breakfast shop is one of my favorite places in all of Taiwan.

It doesn't look like much from outside, but once you get inside every moment is quality. They have many magazines and newspapers to look at while you are eating. I usually just look at the Ikea catalogue because its the only thing a can understand, once and while there is a copy of the Taipei Times, which is Taiwan's all English newspaper. Pretty much everybody that comes in there knows me by now so I am constantly clearing up ongoing debates between local people on how to pronounce English words. Its unreal how bad most of these peeps want to learn English.
This is Evens, she runs the shop and is so solid.

The other day I went to the store with her to pick up a new mop, and she also gave me about 10 packs of Hi Chew and a free breakfast for my birthday. Her mom is always trying to get me to eat all kinds of weird food, sometimes I try it and most of the time it is succulent. This is Evens sidekick Peggy.

Peggy doesn't speak much English but always spots me walking in and dials me in with a steaming cup of coffee and I say "Shi Shi Peggy" which means thank you.

Evens and her pops are a classic duo. Her dad smokes cigarettes through one of those extender things, like Cruella Deville. I showed him my bike one day and he loved it. He kept on picking up the back tire and spinning it so the peddles would go around, its like he was hypnotized by it.

Here he is making some Tuna salad, and let me tell you it is sooooo succulent.

The appilances:

Nov Friderday

2008-12-01T21:54:00.000-08:00

Oh, hello. It is starting to get colder here and there are hints of a familiar fall feel to the air. I have to say I have been soaking it up. So I have mentioned before that the last Friday of every month is Friderday and fixed gear riders from all over Taipei come together for a ride. This past Friday the festivities started at around 10:00 p. We all met up at a 7 11 somewhere in Taipei and road to a place called Danshui. If you look at the purple line on the map you can see where we went. We rode along a trail beside the Danshui river, there was about 20 of us and I think it took about 2 hours to get there.

When we got there we maintained at Danshui station for while, ate some food and drank a couple of brews. We stayed in Danshui for a few hours before riding back, on the way home I have to say I was feeling the effects. By the time we made it back to Taipei it was about 4:00 a, and I still had to ride back to Jhonghe. I rolled in my front door at about 5:00 a, slept for a solid 2 hours and got up for work at 8 a. It was a ditty morning. At school I am teaching my class to sing Yellow Submarine, we are doing some sweet moves along with the words and singing the chorus. There is a concert coming up in two weeks that they will be performing at and I think things are looking pretty good. Also I think I might be teaching a Christmas carol recorder class. Everyone plays the recorder here and luckily I brought mine. I have been polishing my skills for when the time comes.

Here are some Friderday pics.

In the spirit of the winter season, check out this unreal cross cunting video.

Livin

2008-11-24T19:18:00.000-08:00

Here are some sweet beach front pads.

The Bootlegger

2008-11-23T21:02:00.000-08:00

During our stay in Dali last weekend we encountered many different types of characters, the one that stood out for me the most was the guy that ran the local convenience, which was basically just the basement of his house. We ventured into his store around 7pm looking to purchase a few brown trouts to quench our thirsts. As soon as he saw we were buying brews, he started to tell us all about these different types of alcohol that he had in his store. After about 15 mins of him showing us all of these different types of Chinese wines, whiskeys, and beers, he decided to take us into his house where he had all of these giant cabinets full of different types of booze. He showed us a few different types of alcohol that I had never even heard of, and then he busted out this brown bottle with a yellow label with a pic of a tiger on it. The bottle came in a box and it looked fairly intense with the pic of the tiger and the sticky drip downs on the side of the bottle. He offered us a taste, and I was like ohh man I don't know about this, but naturally I tasted it. I put it in my mouth and instantly received a tingling sensation on the roof of my mouth and as I slowly swallowed the thick reddish concauction it burned the back of my throat and made me feel very warm. I looked up after I swallowed and everybody was looking at me as if something was about to happen, and I just said "smoooth". It turns out the drink was made out of tiger bone, and is called tiger bone wine. I looked it up on the internet and it says that tiger bone wine is highly illegal, but is considered a cure for arthritis in Chinese medicine. Here is a pic of the bootlegger, he had a mouth full of silver, and sported a buckskin shirt that was glazed with dirt.

The bootleggers parents.

One of the cabinets.

Before we visited the bootlegger, we passed through a huge temple. There were fireworks going off there and all kinds of strange ceremonial activities going on.

Northeast Coast, Guy

2008-11-17T07:19:00.000-08:00

This past weekend I headed for the coast with a few peeps in the neighborhood. I packed up the essentials, including the Tivoli, a flashlight, some Hi Chew, and a few extra garments. We departed on the train bound for a place called Daxi which took about an hour and a half. We got off the train and walked about 6 kms to a place called Dali which is where we stayed for the night. That was a whole other experience that I will get into later this week. Right now I will tell you about our epic journey from Dali to Fulong on the Caoling Ancient Trail which began at approximately 1:30 pm on Sunday. The trail was built in 1807 as a transportation route between two townships. We had slight delays in the morning, Cianchino was so hungover from the night before that she couldn't even fathom embarking on a journey so epic that it would take us over a mountain, across some streams and into the misty sky's, so we made sure she was set to take the train to Fulong to meet us when we arrived. It all began with a long and winding staircase made of stone right next to an intense temple. Here are some guys on their way down into Dali.

We walked up up up and up for about an hour and half, most of the way was along switchback roads and steep stone stairs.

Representing.
Switchback.

Queenie feeling the effects.

Reagan also feeling the effects.

Half way up, Dali down bellow.

The gate to the top telling you to beware.

On top.

The Tiger Monument.
This piece was carved out and erected by a general named Liu Mingdeng circa 1867. It is a symbol that stands for a female tiger. There is a legend that says the General was out on a mission scoping out this trail because he had heard through the grape vine that it was off the charts. He brought some of his peeps with him and was almost to the top when he and his followers encountered mass winds and intense fog. He figured that the only logical explanation for this was that the gods were laughing at him and mocking him. The general, thinking that he could outsmart the gods quickly remembered a saying he had once heard. The saying was "clouds bring the dragon and winds bring the tiger". He thought that if he carved the symbol for the tiger on a giant rock that it would fight off the winds and guide them through the fog. I guess he was right, he made it though and the monument still works its magic today sitting 330 meters above the sea. Snap.

Silver grass.

There was a festival for this grass going on this weekend, I think it only comes out at this time of year.

A man fishing and a women maintaining.

Here are some smaller things that were encountered. The next pic is of a Neolucanus Swinhoei, its pretty much harmless and just roams around in the soil.

The next badboy on the other hand will murder you.

Finally on our way out of the brush, I rounded the corner and look what was sitting in the bushes. I thought at first maybe it was a mirage, but I rubbed my eyes and looked again and there it was.

A 1987 Toyota Camry, with a little rust on the gas tank and everything. I took a moment and thought about the last time I saw my camshaft getting towed away down King Street from my window at 420 Westside Suites after I sold it for a hundred bucks. What a way to end the voyage.

Also, there were three check points along the trail where you could get a stamp and when you finished the trail with all three stamps you got a sweet headband.

60 Years of Glory

2008-11-13T08:48:00.000-08:00

So, it was my pops bday last Saturday and it was a big one. He turned 60 and naturally rung it in drinking some brew down in Port Credit. 60 years is a commendable achievement in my books, so if you happen to see Frits in the street be sure to tip your hat to him. I thought that I should share this pic, courtesy of UD, to commemorate the occasion.

Toronto Island circa 1987
Left to right - Frits, Liz, Eve, Dick, Jonathan.
What a classic.

What Doing

2008-11-12T07:28:00.001-08:00

Snap, look who showed up in Taiwan the other night. Naturally caught eating a piece of cheese, my friend Michelle popped up on Saturday night and has been been getting a first hand look at the maintenance Jhonghe has to offer.

She didn't arrive until late Saturday, so we waited until Sunday before we put some plans into motion. Sunday Morning I called up my friends Queenie, Reagan, and Liv who I had been primming all week for the occasion. First we kicked off the day with some breakfast at one of my favorite spots in Jhonghe. It is this dotty breakfast shop which has this unreal lady named Evens that works behind the grill. I will have to get a few pics of her soon. After some succulent eggs we made the voyage to a place called Banciao (where the train station is) and walked around there for the day. I was looking to pick up some new shades but came up empty handed. The day consisted of lots of rain, eating, and walking, and ended off with some sushi, some brews, some cheese, and some wine. This is what it looked like by the end.

In my school life I need to come up with some new ideas for my bulletin board. Send some my way if any pop into your mind. Oh ya, I also have to pick a song for my class to sing and teach them some moves for the up coming concert in December. That should be unreal, I need to pick a track by the end of the week. Thanks to my friend Mikey D. everyone I know here is now constantly saying "Ohhhhhh Billly" anytime anything happens, and I think I almost piss myself everytime. For example, today I was working on a different bulletin board out in the stairwell and Tobey came out to check it. I heard him enter the stairwell so I turned to see who it was, when I looked up I saw Tobey glancing at my latest work and he looked down at me and said "Ohhhhhhh Billly", its to much to handle. Lastly, I found out how to say "what doing" in Chinese, it is like this "zigama". If you want to say "what are you doing" it is "nee zigama", but just "what doing" is "zigama".

Politicin I'll Be Wreckin

2008-11-04T21:28:00.000-08:00

All Time Maintenance

2008-11-02T22:19:00.000-08:00

Ok, it has been a busy past week. First off it was Halloween and things at school were going off the charts. I did a lot of face painting and decorating. I carved the sickest pumpkin and I don't think most of the kids had ever seen that before so everyone thought it was quite off the charts. I dressed up as a donkey and went trick or treating with my class, we hit five shops that we arranged with earlier to give us candy. Pics from this endeavor are still to come. After school on Halloween there was a riding event called the 4th Friderday. This event happens once a month, people get together and ride to a planned location where all kinds of wacky contests take place. They have the longest skid contest, and the longest track stand contest, and a track race to end things off. Unfortunately since I had to work until 10 I only made it in time to see the end of the races, next month I will try and make in time to belt out a few laps on the track. A guy from Belgium who designs folding bikes took the glory in the race and won a nice set of lime green tubular tires.

Check out some more pics from the event here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/nabiis/sets/72157608384161178/

Here are some Characters.

Hawk.
Ken and his women.

Taichung

2008-10-26T08:11:00.000-07:00

Well, this weekend I decided to venture out of Taipei County and head for a spot called Taichung. In Taiwan there are three main city's, Taipei, Taichung, and Tainan. Taipei means the north, Taichung means the middle and Tainan means the south which makes perfect sense seeing as Taipei is on the north end of the island and Taichung is in the middle and Tainan is in the south. So I went to middle on the sickest train, but I am going to have to get to that perhaps tomorrow. After work on Saturday I packed up a small satchel and headed for the high road. When I got there I met up with Queenie (one of the girls I teach with), her boyfriend Reagan who is a badminton wizard, and his friend Lee who can also hold it down on the court but is actually a taekwondo ninja. It was Reagan's birthday this weekend so Queenie wanted to get down there early on Saturday, so I covered her class on Saturday morn and hightailed it down later on in the afternoon. Upon arrival we first hit up a solid Italian restaurant and ate like kings, it was quite succulent. After, we walked around town. Taichung, although still very large is not quite as busy as Taipei and has the feel of an island oasis with its flowing palms and smooth breeze.

Here is a pic of Queenie and Reagan after we ate.

This is Lee

There was a Halloween festivity going on in the park.

Reagan

After we ate and went to the park we drove over to another park where there was an unreal Jazz Festival going on. We stayed there for a few hours and soaked in some smooth rhythms. There was this trumpet, drums, and piano combo that was just killing it, and I was loving it.

It looks like Queenie was loving it as well.

There was also a guy playing a guitar for a while, he looked just like this.

After all of this we went back to Reagan's house to get the scooters and made our way to the night market for some delicious food.

Put another shrimp on the barrrrbeeeee.

DRC

2008-10-21T22:09:00.000-07:00

This one goes out to my brethrens from the DRC who just collected a silver medal down in Boston this past weekend at the Head of Charles Regatta in the LWT Mens 4+. Big ups fellas. Yale University took the gold, but the DRC still over came other university powerhouses such as Harvard and Princeton, as well as U.S club powerhouses such as the New York Athletic Club and Riverside Boat Club out of Boston. Here is a little Taiwanese representation, what what what what.

The boys in action.
Bow to stern.
1- El Tanko Grande International
2- Stevie Dizzle (DRC Refugee)
3- Tommmyyyyyyyyyyyy
4- Linus
Cox- Shecky Shabo

Express Yourself

2008-10-20T20:33:00.000-07:00

I think my level of authority is starting to rise at school these days. I was recently given a bulletin board space that I am allowed to do anything I want with. I think each month I will have a new theme.

Here is my board, I usually have my students draw some pics in class, so I picked some of the best ones and tossed them up. It is kind of hard to see, but these pictures are of people and on the side it says what colour their clothes are. The board was inspired this month by a classic N.W.A track, check it.

Bellow is my creation for Halloween, it is a hit with the kids and all of the parents that come in. He sits right in front of the door, so you can't miss him when you walk in. I used newspaper to stuff his pants and shirt, and a balloon with with a pumpkin cut out taped to it for his head. Normally I would use leaves to stuff a scarecrow but there were no leaves so I had to resort to newspaper.

After class one day the kids all seemed to be in the mood for monkeying around. Luckily I had my camera and could capture some of the glory.

Kiki seems fairly subdued here but let me tell you she is one of the funniest.

Candy keeps it real with colours and is currently trying to master clothing.

This is Jason, personally I feel he is a bit of a queef. First of all he can never remember my name and second loosen those trousers son.

Good old Chuck, he is a menace in the classroom but sometimes I can't not laugh at his antics.

Sandy has also got her colour game down pat, her artistic skills are currently topping the charts. I believe a piece of her work is featured this month on the "Express Yourself" board.

Balling

2008-10-19T22:29:00.000-07:00

Well it seems as though basketball is a pretty big sport here in Taiwan. There are courts all over the streets and there are always kids playing. I think the talent level is pretty low but everybody seems to love it. I was walking through the local park in Jhonghe the other day and stopped by the court to scout out some of the local ballers.

Check out those two philly's on the left watching the fellas play.

Jhonghe is finally starting to feel like home. The maintenance level here is off the charts. I have to say, at first I thought ohh man what am I going to do here. Everywhere you go something stinks, and it is always a smell that you have never smelt before. Think of the worst smell you have ever smelled and multiply that by about 10 and you will start to enter the realm of some of the smells I have encountered. I wish I could post some kind of device on this blog that when you push a button the smell I want you to smell comes wafting out of your microphone and you can catch a whif of what I am talking about here, serious odours. Anyway other then that people go to the park, sit around, drink coffee and Taiwan beer, and generally just maintain. There are always people on the steets and the vibe is generally quite pleasant. Also, being a minority is not as bad as it seems. I mean sometimes I feel kind of weird, and think that some people think this (watch the vid), but in general everything is pretty good.

Supermarkets

2008-10-17T22:31:00.000-07:00

So my celebrity status is ever increasing at the local supermarket. I almost know everyone in there by name and they all know me even if I don't know them by name. Last week I rolled in there around noon and Jessie the girl behind the meat counter handed me a some folded paper.I paused for moment before opening the letter and then proceeded to take a peek. It was quite hard to understand, but just so you get the gist of it, I will let you in on a few sentences.

"Because my English is not good. Must therefore probably depend on the computer to turn meaning which English expressed me to need to say. I thought that you very brave person comes to Taiwan to work. My work hours are 11:00 am to 7:00 pm. I team up work hours am 2:00 pm to 10:00 pm. If before you must come to ask me to chat 2:00 pm. Because she goes to work we not to be able to chat again. Understands my meaning? (not really) I believed that you are best. Knows you very happily. Wish you have a nice day."

So there you have it, I was stuck in the middle of the supermarket with about 5 people watching me as I read this note. I wasn't entirely sure what it meant so I didn't draw any conclusions until later she told me that if I move back to Canada and forget about her she will be heartbroken. I don't want to paint a bad picture of Jessie here, she is very sweet, and I am pretty sure shes not mental or anything. But this was a little much. I need to find a way of telling her that I am cool with us being just friends or else I am going to have to switch supermarkets. If you have any suggestions toss them my way. On a side note I finally found some milk that I like. I have been having this problem where the milk is just to creamy. I think I might have been drinking whole milk or something and didn't know. I started buying small cartons of milk to sample, and I think I have pinpointed my favorite one, its the little one next to the big one.

Double Tenth Thanksgiving

2008-10-15T08:09:00.000-07:00

So sorry for the lack of posts over the past weekend. I was busy working out a few details on the status of all my permits. It turns out I don't have the HIV and I am aloud to stay in the country for 1 year, wooooooooooo. Ok, so Friday was a holiday for us over here. The day is called Double Tenth Day and it is Taiwan's birthday. There were flags all over the streets and I heard that many parades were suppose to be happening, but I don't think I saw any. I think I might have seen what looked to be something resembling a parade but I wasn't fully sure. There were some rickity floats, some costumes, and a guy barfing in the corner, all signs pointed to parade but I couldn't be sure. Anyway here is a Big Up to Thanksgiving home style.

Liz

Photos courtesy of F. Loek - Mississauga News.

Billy B.

2008-10-08T06:05:00.001-07:00

I just picked up a new pair of runners on the weekend so I could go to the local track and just jog out a few laps. I reviewed all of the different shoes that I thought I would be able to find and picked a few pairs so I would know what to look for when I got to the store. I ended up going with the Nike Bill Bowerman Series Air Span + 5. All of my life I have steered clear of Nike in any of my shoe purchases for some reason, but this time I just decided to go for it. Partially due to default and also partially due the box saying just do it on it, I decided to try them out. All in all I feel it was a solid choice. Every time I run on the track and start feeling bagged, I get this image of Billy B. in my mind telling me to lift my knees higher and I start running with the high knee lift until I can no longer take it. In case you are unfamiliar with Billy Bowerman, he was one of the founders of Nike with his original waffle iron shoe sole design. He was the coach at The University of Oregon and coached the likes of Steve Prefontaine who reigned supreme on the track on the University and International stage until his untimely death.

Here are a few pics of Billy in action.

This is where I reign supreme. Banciao Stadium.
C'est un stad.

With this guy. He likes the high leg lift.

After I hit the track for a few laps I usually like to stop off at the supermarket in the Global Mall on the way home for a bev. Every time I go there I get something for free, one of the ladies that works behind the meat counter points at my face and says "you" "you", "sooo handsome", and then proceeds to give me a sample of some meat. Well sometimes its meat, once she gave me a banana, and today she bought me a bottle of Orange Fanta. She speaks almost no English and is probs about 50 but is by far the nicest person probably in the world.

Fixed Maintenance

2008-10-06T20:47:00.001-07:00

Oh hi there. I came home from work yesterday to Ted going completely ape in his tank. He was ripping up the plants and pushing his snail shell all over the place. I yelled out woooaaahhhh Ted whats the problem man, and then he paused and looked at me, pushed his snail shell one lest time and resorted back to his usual state of maintenance. I wondered what the problem might be and the only thing I could think of was that perhaps he is hungry, so I fed him again and that seemed to do the trick. This weekend was pretty good, Saturday I mostly maintained all day by myself but on Sunday I met up with these cats from this shop called Nabiis that all ride fixeds. I met them at this placed called Ximen and we just kicked it until about 11 p. First we went to the shop, they have this layer designed just for maintaining above the shop. It was just an open room with a couch some chairs and a table with a few desks and computers in the back. Behind the computers there was a door which led to a room of bike frames and parts, it was siiiick. I showed them pictures of the Peug and they nearly all creamed their jeans. After, we went to this restaurant to get some Chinese food, there was a Lazy Susan in the middle of the table and they just ordered all kinds of different stuff, I have to say it was the most succulent dinner I have had since I have been here. When dinner was over we got the bikes and went over to this park and just rode and maintained for a few hours before packing it in for the night.

This is Hawk, he really whales on his bike. I think he can do almost every single trick in the book. He is the same age as me and is in the army. If I was Taiwanese I would also be in the army right now. Luckily you only have to stay in there for one year.

This is Ad Word, solid guy. He is only 18, but he is a photographer and is just finishing up high school. He will also have to go to the army in the next 4 or 5 years.

This little tyke was getting in on the action as well.

Local Wildlife

2008-10-04T20:22:00.000-07:00

It has become official that I am now a recognized face when I walk down the streets of Jhonghe. Just yesterday I was walking out of the supermarket with a new jar of peanut butter and some bbq Pringles chips when all of a sudden I hear Teacher Jon, Teacher Jon. I look up and there is Kiki with her mom. Naturally I sent out my greetings and salutations and then continued on my way. Later I decided to go to McDonalds for some lunch, and the same thing happened. I was standing in line and some kid walks by and says "Hi Teacher Jon", I didn't even recognize this one. Anyways, at McDonalds I had a spicy chicken combo but I was feeling pretty hungry and I didn't think just the combo alone would fill the void. So I decided to top of the meal with an apple pie. I totally had forgotten about the McDonalds apple pie until yesterday, and man am I happy I rediscovered it. It is so delicious, next time you are in McDonalds I would suggest picking one up and rediscovering the goodness. I also made a discovery when I was sitting eating my lunch. I looked over at the table next to me and there was a guy reading the newspaper, and I realized that Chinese people read right to left. As soon as I saw this I couldn't help but notice the similarities between Jewish people and Chinese people. They both read from right to left. Weird discovery eh. Throughout my stay here I have noticed many types of wildlife in and around the streets of Jhonghe.

These two creatures were both together in cages along side of the road. I guess someone was trying to sell them, but as far as I could see they were just sitting there by themselves.

No matter where you go here, you will always run into some kind of a dog. Usually the dog will just be maintaining like any other person would, no collar, no leash, just walking around enjoying the day, or night. As you can see above, dogs even ride scooters.

I was down at the day market buying some vegetables the other day before class when I heard many sounds resembling the sounds of a barn yard. I curiously followed the noises until I stumbled upon this giant cage of roosters. You can pick which rooster you want while it is alive, and they will kill right there and then prepare it for you. The whole operation looked fairly dotty.

Finally, last but not least this is Ted. Ted is my new roomate, his tank sits right beside the couch. So far he has been pretty solid. There is this fish store right beside my building, so I went in there the other day and came out with this. When I first got in there I was trying to talk with the clerk, but he didn't speak any English, so I was speaking English and he was speaking Chinese, so we didn't make it very far. I was trying to ask him about some of the different fish when all of a sudden this other guy pops out of nowhere and starts speaking to me in English. So I was like alright tell me about these fish. He knew everything there was to know about these fish. His name was David and he got me fully set up. He even came over after when I had it all set up to put some drops of something in my tank. I gave him a brew and we watched a little baseball.

The Staff

2008-09-30T02:12:00.000-07:00

Monday turned out to be a typhoon day and school was canceled. This was unreal for me because I needed to have another day to recover from the rhea. I tell you it still isn't fully gone but today has been much better. Also, I think I got a line on picking up a fixed over here, it looks like they have Friday night riding events called Frider Days, if you want to check it out look at this www.fixedgeartaiwan.com. There is a guy that lives in Taichung which is about 2 hours by bus from here and he builds custom bike frames, I got his number from a guy on the internet and I might pay him a visit in a couple of weeks. Currently I am representing in the back office at Gram, I don't have a class for another 45 mins so I thought I would take this time and introduce everybody to the staff at Gram. Each one of these peeps is quite solid in their own way.

VIVI

This is Vivi, she works up at the front. I guess you could say she is the secretary. She doesn't speak English very well but she does know how to call out on the intercom in English for kids to get ready when their parents come. For example if Jimmy's dad is here to pick him up she will pick up the phone and push intercom and say "Jimmy, Jimmy, please get reeaaaaddyyyy". It is classic. Oh ya she is also in charge of ordering the food, so when it comes to this I have to make sure she understands what I want. I usually get the dumplings, they are succulent. Once and I while I get the Neo row minh, which is beef noodle soup. Its ok but I think I got turned off of it because I ate that the day I got the rhea.

FANNY

The infamous. Seeing as I gave Fanny her name and everything we are pretty tight, so I got her to pose by the board here. Fanny works side by side with Vivi and another girl named Liv. They kind of do the same job, all of them take care of all the secretarial duties. Liv is the best at English, Fanny the second best, and Vivi is the worst. Fanny drives a scooter and from time to time I see her wizzing by on the streets.

LIV

Liv, another front face taking care of administrative duties. She lives in Banciao(where the subway station is) and also rides a scooter. I think she studies English at university and is really into computer games. Whenever I ask Liv how she is, it is rarely good, she always gets frazzled and blurts out some kind of an answer that indicates she is not good.

TOBEY

You should all know Tobey by now, but here he is just taking care of business. Tobey is serious about success, he likes his Jhonghe branch to be a tightly run ship, and is constantly giving the secretarial staff shite. He drives a Ford Focus and also has a Yamaha scooter, I have ridden in/ on both. He also loves baseball, and doesn't eat beef. However, he really likes soda and baked goods.

TEACHER KATRINA

I just finished a class with Katrina, it went pretty well. I was teaching past and present tenses. For example "Every day, Susan travels to Taipei" and "Yesterday, she didn't travel to Taipei". Sometimes she gives me tips on games to play with the class and also helps me with the photocopier because it is all in Chinese. She doesn't drive a scooter because she is scared, so instead she rides the bus from her house somewhere near the Kentucky Fried Chicken in Jhonghe. In fact it is the same bus I use to get to the subway station except in the opposite direction.

TEACHER QUEENIE

This is Queenie, she is the "Queen of the classroom". She is solid with helping out with my lesson plans. She teaches the little kids so sometimes it is tough to keep them under control. She lives just around the corner and rides a scooter. Her house is about a 5 min walk and she still drives it almost everyday. I give her shite about that on the regular and tell her that she should walk. As you can see she is a hard worker and is always flipping through some kind of book. Her boyfriend lives in Taichung where he is a doctor.

TEACHER MEILING

Ahhhhh, Teacher Mieling. Thats what I like to say every time I see Meiling roll through the doors, I say it like Mr Miyagi says Ahhhhhh Daniel Son in the Karate Kid. Yesterday I was chatting with Meiling about her class because I am going to be teaching it later this week. After we finished with our business discussions I asked her what she got up to on the typhoon day, and I couldn't believe what she told me. She told me that her nephew was in a baby race and she went to watch. Immediately I was puzzled by this so called baby race, so I continued to probe at the subject. She told me that there are crawling races for babies and that her nephew was in one. I immediately pictured this sort of mini dirt track in some underground night club at 3:00am with all kinds of people standing around smoking and placing bets on the babies. $10 bucks on Little Jimmy Lee, $20 bucks on Big Alfred Wang, $100 on Charlie "the bullet" Tsai. I guess I think like this because of that episode of Seinfeld where Kramer got the rooster and named it Little Jerry Seinfeld and starts entering it in underground cock fights. Anyway, the whole idea seems crazy to me and I was dying laughing when she told me about it. So in the end I asked her how the baby did, and she said "terrible", she said when he got on the track he froze and didn't go.

When you're driving in your Chevy and you feel something heavy.

2008-09-28T03:05:00.000-07:00

Ohhh man. The past few days have been the worst yet. I have had the worst diarrhea of life and I think as a result have been feeling a little homesick. I think today though it is starting to clear up, things are looking better, I haven't had a dotty deuce since last night. I think what happened was on Thursday morning I was brushing my teeth in the bathroom as usual and I was rinsing my mouth out at the end of my brush. Clearly not really thinking, perhaps a bit groggy from my slumber , I swallowed a mouth full of the tap water. As soon as it went down I realized, I contemplated making myself barf for a few seconds, but then I thought naaaaaaa its probably fine. Well let me tell you, I will never make that mistake again. Currently conditions outside are intense, there is another serious typhoon out there, this big sign of this chick that was right outside my window blew off the side of the building. Perhaps school will be canceled tomorrow and I will have an extra day to recover from the rhea. This is what it looks like outside my window right now.

Since I haven't done to much this weekend I don't have much to report. But earlier this week I went out with Tobey and his girl Elva. We went to the night market in Yonghe and walked around for a little bit. On our way out we picked up some fried chicken and vegetables, it was pretty succulent.

After the market we met up with Tobey's cousins for some more karaoke. This time there was a better selection of tracks, so I hit up Kokomo, and Like a Rolling Stone, both were hits. Check out this guy. He was on the screen when the tracks were playing.

What a classic. I think by the time I leave here I will be a Karaoke pro like him. On a side note my mom paddles with a guy that looks like this.

A Framed Picture and a Closed Casket

2008-09-25T09:04:00.000-07:00

Bad news to report today. A one Ashley Mogg's kitty has passed onto the other side. Chloe was an unreal little mongoose of a cat, I had many classic encounters with that minx. One that sticks out the most is when I was sitting in the living room with Ashley, and I'm not quite sure what we were doing, but all of a sudden we heard this ruckus from inside the kitchen. Ashley went out to check it out. To her surprise, there was a raccoon standing in the doorway which led outside from the kitchen, good old Chloe was standing facing the raccoon and hissing at it. In between the two rascals lay Chloe's bowl of food. One thing you should know about Chloe is that she had no front claws and was a huge ween most of the time. Normally you could sit right on top of her and she wouldn't even give. So, anyway as soon as the raccoon saw Ashley it bolted, but I'm sure it was already having second thoughts. Ashley is feeling pretty down in the dumps so if you see her on the streets give her a giant hug.

Normally when people I know die I like to take a moment and listen to a track by Ice Cube called Dead Hommiez. Earlier today I took a moment and thought about Chloe while listening.

Hopefully she is in a better place.

B Boy Nation

2008-09-23T20:52:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I set sail out of Jhonghe by way of bus and subway, I picked up a few tips from some peeps around the the neighbourhood before I embarked on my journey. It was quite simple, I had to catch the 307 bus to Banqiao Station and then take the subway into Taipei on the blue line. The subway is called the MRT here, and it is sooo siick. All of the stops are written in English as well as Chinese and they tell you what is in the area of the stop and which direction to go to get there. Check out this sweet map of the MRT. Where the blue and red lines intersect is Taipei Main Station, so you can see that I don't have far to travel to get there.

Inside the bus.

The sickest part of the whole voyage was when I got to Banqiao Station. I was walking through the concourse if you will, when all of a sudden I heard some sweet beats pumping from around the corner, it was some kind of Chinese funk music. So I rounded the corner to see what the commotion was and this is what I saw.

It was a god damn B-Boy Nation, in the subway station. I sat and watched for about 30 mins, these kids were breaking it down like nothing I have ever seen before. A few months before I came here I saw this movie called Planet B-Boy and learned that some of the best break dancers in the world come from Asia, I would recommend checking this flick out if you get a chance. Also, if you want to check out another break dance classic you should see Step-Up 2 The Streets, not as far off the chart as Planet B-Boy but still high up.
So on my walk home from the bus that night I rolled into the courtyard in the middle of my building complex and was greeted with another ruckus. There was some kind of kids festival going down and it was bumping. I didn't stick around to get the deets but I snapped a quick shot.

Inner City Pressure

2008-09-22T20:35:00.000-07:00

I was walking down the streets of the rickety village of Jhonghe, which is where I live, a few nights ago and couldn't help but be reminded of this track I once heard called Inner City Pressure by a few cats from New Zealand. Please follow along with the lyrics.

Inner city life.
Inner city pressure.
The concrete world is starting to get ya.
The city is alive, the city is expanding.
Living in the city can be demanding.
You pawned everything, everything you owned.
Your tooth brush jar and a camera phone.
You don't know where you're going.
You cross the street, you don't know why you did.
You walk back across the street.
Standing in the sitting room.
Totally stint. And your favorite jersey is covered in lint.
You want to sit down but you sold your chair.
So you just stand there. You just stand there...

Inner. Inner city. Inner city pressure.

Counting coins on the counter of the 7/11.
From a quarter past six till a quarter to seven.
The manager, Bevin, starts to abuse me.
Hey man, I just want some Musely.
Neon signs, hidden messages.
Questions, answers, fetishes.
You know you're not in high finance.
Considering second hand underpants.
Check your mind, how'd it get so bad?
What happened to those other underpants you had?
Look in your pockets, haven't found a cent yet.
Tenants on your balls, "have you payed your rent yet?"

Inner. Inner city. Inner city pressure.

Man, what a track. Anyways, there are 7 11's on almost every single corner here. They just love it, its like Tim Hortons in Canada except even more. You can also buy brews and wine at the 7 11.

Neon signs, Hidden Messages.

Questions?
Answers.
Fetishes.

Those last few pics are of the night market in Jhonghe, it is just up the street from my crib. It is a pretty small market compared to the ones in Taipei but you can still find an assortment of different foods and many strange treasures.

Official

2008-09-21T01:14:00.000-07:00

Alright, I drive a Subaru the other is a Vet now lets get in the water and lets get wet. I am now officially "Teacher Jon". I walked into my first class on Wednesday afternoon and greeted the class with a "good afternoon class" and they all said at the same time "good afternoon Teacher Jon", I almost shat. I mean first of all the fact that they all knew my name already was unreal and I had no idea I was going to be dubbed Teacher Jon on my first day of teaching. After a brief introduction of myself and the students to me the class was underway. I already mentioned that the first class was going to be on food, so immediately I dove into the flash cards and started the lesson with some simple vocabulary. To my surprise the kids already had a pretty good grasp on most types of food. Here are a few items that posed a bit of a problem for some students like big Willy, and little Lulu.

Pizza - PIZZA

Chicken- CHICKEN

Fish - FISH

Ice Cream - ICE CREAM

Noodles - NOODLES

Pie - PIE

I think by the end of class everyone had a solid grip on all the different kinds of food. The names of the kids have been baffling me since day one. I have run into kids named Stanley, Berny, Jimmy, Candy, Kiki, Lulu, Charlie, Willy, Kenny, Norton, Terry, Jerry, Sally, and Archy. With the exception of Kiki and Lulu all of these names seem fit for a 40 year old white man or women and not a 7 to 10 year old Asian boy or girl. I couldn't help but wonder how the parents of these kids could come up with such strange names for their babies, I mean imagine a Chinese baby named Jerry or Terry or Kenny, its funny right?
Anyway, I finally got to the bottom of the name fiasco on Friday afternoon. I was sitting at my desk minding my own business when this girl I work with Eva walk by and I said "Hi Eva" and she turned around and said "thats not my name" and I said "Oh, I'm sorry I thought it was Eva", and she said "Well it was, except I had to change it because there is another Eva that works at another one of our branches", so I inquired further and it turns out that they pick their own English names. The kids pick names for themselves when they first come to our school, same with Chinese teachers. Luckily I already have an English name. Back to Eva, she needed to come up with a new name and she pick Nadia. I told her Nadia is a terrible name and that she should change it to Fanny. She loved it and now her new name is Fanny.

This is my teaching uniform, we have to wear this on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. It is made of a nice polyester, very breathable.

Home Base

2008-09-17T18:20:00.000-07:00

Oh hi there, I hope everyone is doing well today. The sun is just beaming in the window right now and the sound of the highway just bellow is roaring through the screen. I just found out yesterday that I had to pay my own electricity bill so it looks like there is going to be limited use of the A.C and I am currently sweating my balls off. Today is going to my first real day of teaching and it is going to be on the topic of food. I have a set of sweet flash cards, some magnets and possibly a ball in the mix for my class, I think it should be good. I ran into Kenny the other yesterday (the guy who told me about the powdered milk epidemic) and he was still going on about it, however he also told me if I wanted some most delicious foods I should go to Taipei City Night Market, so I think I will try and hit that this weekend. I realized that I haven't really shown to much of my digs yet, so please join me in a brief tour.

We can start with the front door/ front hall, to the right there is the entrance to the bathroom.

Next we have the kitchen, this is where I like to do most of my cooking.

Here is the living room, you can usually find me here doing some of my leisure activities.

Next to the living room is my bedroom, my mattress is very hard.

This is my enclosed balcony, the windows open right up and I have a beautiful view of the the streets and highway.

On the balcony is my washing machine, I found some strange items in there this morning.

This device is considered a luxury here, it heats your water so it is suitable for drinking, it is also very useful for soups.

On the topic of food this was my brrrrrreakfast. (sick chopsticks)

Finally here is an overall view.

The Streets

2008-09-15T19:35:00.001-07:00

Ahhhh yes, I finally slept until a normal hour this morning. I think the days of the 3am wake-up are behind me. As I predicted I didn't do any actual teaching yesterday, I sat in on 4 classes (3 kids classes and 1 adult class). I have to say that all of them were fun, but I think that the adult class was by far the most classic. 3 students that stuck out for me were Kenny, Norton, and Eric, these guys are unreal. I think they are all computer guys, at least I know for sure Kenny and Norton are. At the start of class they had to talk about some current news that they have read about and discuss it in English. Kenny decided to tell us about how this "milk of powder" being imported from China was very bad and had toxic chemicals in it that could cause kidney stones. Norton tried to tell me that the Norton Anti-Virus was named after him, and Eric tried to trick me into thinking he was "a gay". The whole class was way to funny.

Before class yesterday I hit the street of Jhonghe, my home town here. I picked up some fruit at the local fruit stand and stood on the corner of an intersection to try and pick up some action. This is what I came up with.

The Jungle:

Mail Bike:
Scooters:

Bikes:

Sit Down Shower

2008-09-14T19:14:00.000-07:00

Today is going to be my first day of teaching, I'm not sure if I will be doing any actual teaching or if I will just be sitting in on a few classes though. The rain I think is suppose to stop today and it looks like the typhoon has died down. Last night was another wild night of Mid Autumn Festival festivities. I went to a diner with Tobey and his women again except this time we went to some kind of dinner hall and there was mass karaoke going on in there and I ate some shrimps that still had there heads and legs. An old lady came up to me and started pulling at my arm and speaking mad Chinese at me. I looked at Tobey in a puzzled fashion, and he said "she wants you to sing", I tried to refuse but she wouldn't have it. So the only song that they had that I could recognize was The House of The Rising Sun, I was left with no choice but to get up in front of the entire hall and belt it out. Luckily it was some kind of condensed version meant for easy reading, so it was over before I knew it.

Getting back to the title of this post, I realized when I got to my flat that there was something funny about my shower, it had no curtain. The first shower I took I made a total mess of the bathroom because I stood up and sprayed water all over the room. I thought that this couldn't be the way I was suppose to do it, so after some analysis and some more trial and error I think I have perfected my technique.

Another thing that has been cramping my style is the lack of coffee, I have yet to find a bean to my satisfaction. However, I did find some teas that have been working out quite nicely for now.

Finally, in preparation for class today I am trying to unwrinkle my clothes.

The Pacific Rim job

2008-09-13T18:19:00.000-07:00

So this is my third day in Taiwan and so far I don't have to much to show for it, partially do to the fact that a typhoon has been blowing through for the past 2 days and school has been canceled. However, yesterday I manged to get out to my only pal Tobey's girlfriends families Mid Autumn Festival BBQ Party. No one there spoke any English except for myself and Tobey, so needless to say I spent most of the time eating chicken butt and conversing with Tobey. Once and a while someone from the family tried to talk to me but as soon as I said anything back the common response was laughter in my face, no big deal.

Before the party yesterday I hit the streets to see if I could scope out any sweet shops, I really felt like some eggs so I bought some eggs off of this guy who had mike crates full of eggs. I wasn't entirely sure that these eggs were eatable due to the manner in which they were displayed, so I picked one up and put it in my mouth and tried to judge the mans reaction to me as to whether or not these eggs were for eating. He nodded his head so I bought 6 and came home and fried them up. Unfortunately I don't have many pictures yet due to the Typhoon but they will come soon.

Duckets:

Brew:

View from my window: